|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| 
 Before the snow and just after it, there is a smoldering time when things dry out. But spring doesn’t crunch. You can’t tie up spring in a bundle, toss it on a fire and watch it immediately send up ticks of glow. Spring green smokes. But in the reds and oranges there are harbingers of inferno, of destruction. I have always thought it was as delightful as any bud of May and maybe moreso. Many revered ideologies, heritages and old wives’ tales have the time of fires set at purification and I will buy that as a part of the parcel, but not as the whole.
 I do not know when I first remembered that the end of things was never the actual end. I know that I felt relief though, and ceased to be afraid. Maybe it was because I knew of my own destruction and lived through it so often that I understood almost innately the nonsense of the adage: whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. As if you have not changed entirely. As if whoever you were before your fall did not die. Yes. Whatever doesn’t kill you, isn’t a very good teacher in this grand compulsory exercise.
 Neither surgery, botox nor the best of motivational speakers and life coaches will keep a body from remembering who used to wear the shell. Even as I become ready to dismiss the Ms. of me by removing the hose and heels, I’ll look at the nylons and envision the purposeful holes of my punk phase pretension. I like her fine but she was destroyed in the late 80s, and I am glad of it. And when the trees have dropped their pretty accessories leaving their skeletal branches only to plead for the sun, I know that they will never wear the same out fit twice.
I am enamored of the changing. I am in love with the impermanence. For now.
| | |
| Just a quick update for those interested. I went to the neurosurgeon and basic gist is to wait 6-12 months and maybe then get more pics taken then and deal with the individual symptoms as they arise. My symptoms are not so severe that they warrant any more immediate action and that is good news.
I was disappointed that I did not get a quick solution for the things that have been happening, but then are there ever any of those?
Feeling every bit the whiny baby is enough to quell my complaints and worries for the time being.
Now on to better things.
| | |
| The necessity for scary has somewhat diminished within the last week, so this Halloween, quiet as it is, comes as a welcome repose.
Recounting the frightening and stressful bits only serves to increase the depth and length of the new wrinkle between my brows, so for vanity's sake, I will not do it. However, there were gems to be had and I found some.
My kiddos wrote their spooky short stories and they were wonderful. Gory as all get out but wonderful.
While the symptoms of the Chiari seem to be building, it helps a great deal to get through whatever quirks arise knowing that it may not have to last forever. And that is a gem worth holding on to right now. I find out more on Tuesday.
Wanting things, material things, never seems to happen to me without pangs of guilt, but with my latest two ME WANTS! that feeling is oddly not present. My two darlings are: Final Draft and a stationary bike. The thoughts of using those two things cheer me up considerably.
(What? A zombie kitty is far more interesting to look at than a stationary bike. It's a fact. At least you weren't Rick Rolled.)
So the gem list is short but when that happens it has become a great release to turn to the monkey. He has a way of pulling out the silly even when I cannot seem to find it myself.
Here is his latest:
And in an effort to pay homage to the creepy, here is one of the photo edits I have yet to post anywhere else.
 I tried to make a human peacock but my mad scientist gene was on the fritz again.
Hey, I am not forgetting the little things. I am well aware and appreciative of those nuances that brighten days. I heard a man in line at the grocery say to another, "Everyday I wake up above the dirt, I call it a win." As do I. The alternative would be very uncomfortable. And I had one such win. On a rare night out, a musician gave me a card of his up coming show dates. He turned it over to explain to me that I could use the other side as a scratch pad to write things on, like phone numbers. AND I only had to check with one person to assure myself that he was not really overly concerned about awareness of the multiple uses of paper products. I am not dead yet apparently.
Will be round soon. I hope you all are doing okay. Much love and snack sized candies to you!
| | |
| Yellow
“Once when I went this old woman was handing out home made cookies. She had them all wrapped up with two cookies in each bag! Can you imagine that?! I threw them away in her lawn as we walked away. Gross!”
“You should have waited to throw them away where she wouldn’t see.”
“It was dark. She couldn’t see.”
“She would have found them in the morning. People don’t poison you from their own kitchens. They do put stuff in candy you can’t trace though. I heard of that happening.”
“I was just little. I didn’t know. And I was scared.”
“Yeah, but you still think it’s gross. I think it’s kind of nice the way she put all that work into it.”
“You... some people like home made stuff. I don’t do home made stuff. Not food. Not clothes. Not nothing.”
“Sometimes home made stuff is the best. I love Thanksgiving and that’s all about home made stuff.”
“Okay. I’ll give you Thanksgiving. But not trick or treating.”
Crimson
“I saw this kid I knew from high school on Facebook. He was such a complete jerk then. Now I guess he’s found Jesus.”
“So you accepted his friendship then.”
“Why not?”
“Have any good memories of the guy?”
“No. He actually really hurt a few friends of mine. He seemed to get off hurting people’s feelings. He was always nice and sweet in front of adults though.”
“And you accepted his friendship.”
“Well, his status update said something about loving Jesus, so I thought he might have changed or something.”
“That’s really sweet how he announced to the world that would be watching that he loved Jesus. Nice. Have you sent him a message?”
“No!”
“Why? Don’t you want to make contact again? Keep up with him and his life and all that?”
“No. Not really. Stop judging me!”
“Oh, I’m not. I’ve done it too. I think everyone does. It’s so nice to see people again and all, but really we just don’t want to seem like bitches.”
“Are you going to delete me?”
“Not yet.”
Jade
“I can’t wait for Halloween this year.”
“Are you going trick-or-treating?”
“No. Im too old for that.”
“Are you going to hand out candy or go to a scary movie?”
“No. I don’t have the money for it.”
“Why are you so excited about Halloween this year then?”
“I just am. It feels good to be excited about something. You said you’re excited. Are you handing out candy?
“Only if you promise to come to my front stoop. I promise to have the good candy.”
“Okay! Do I get to... I mean do I have to dress up?
“Yes. And you have to tell me what constitutes good candy or you are getting dental floss.”
| | |
| I mentioned previously that hoodies have been banned at many schools and other places, and in truth, I wouldn't wear them to school anyway. They're too hot for me with the hood. Still, so many kids like them and have several, I thought why not modify them to be acceptable for the dress code? I asked for volunteers and two freshmen offered up hoodies they liked but didn't wear much (and with the new rule, didn't wear at all) for me to play with. Here are some of the results so far:  
Baby Blue Fleece Bound and Zippered
This was my first try at turning the hood into a collar. It was simple to do. However, I bought cheap white thread and it was a nightmare to use with the fleece binding. I finally scavenged some older stronger thread from the bottom of the box and it came out okay. The pockets are a bit misaligned, but since it was a practice hoodie with stains all over it, no big loss. I will wear it for workouts and I am putting in a snug iPod pocket to make it even more useful.
 
She said she'll wear it now!
This was my second attempt at a collar. I chose the red binding to make it pop a little. After cutting off the hood and splitting it down the center, sewing on the double fold binding (Double fold is important because it is folded inward on either side making a finished edge automatically.), it is a snap to sew in a zipper! People kept telling me: "I don't sew! I can't do something like that." But I am not a good seamstress either! I can hardly sew a straight line but with thread the same color as the binding, my wobbling doesn't show. With the added inch or so due to the binding width and the zipper, there was more room and the young lady that let me practice on it seemed happy with it.
Collar Only
But this one made me nervous because guys can be very picky about their clothes and I did not want to disappoint this gentleman. He was happy with it. I made sure to wash both of the ones I made for students to see how the seams would hold up and they did very well. It's satisfying to make something usable again.
Mine Without Collar
This was the first one I did. I removed the hood just under the seam that attached it to the body and split it up the center. I bound it with black and put in a black zipper that starts two inches below the neckline and ends right above the bottom ribbing. I hate how sweatshirts leave me looking like a balloon and this solved that. It hangs like a cardigan now and it is my favorite. I am going to mod all my other school themed ones the same way. I don't like things around my neck if they aren't scarves or the occasional necklace.
 
Hmmmm.When I went to the cutie patootie married orthopaedist who wears cool boots we discussed my carpal tunnel and arm pains. I have a course of action for that. However, he told me to call a neurosurgeon due to something else he spotted in the MRI: a Chiari Malformation. The yellow arrow points to it in the first picture. (The second picture is an x-ray that I only posted because I think it is pretty.) Basically, I have to find out if my little cerebellum hang is within the normal range or not. I am kind of hoping it is not because for the last two years I have had pretty much every symptom they list on the pages I have read about Chairi malformations. The worst one for me is the near constant nausea. I have had a lined trash can beside the computer desk for a while because extended time here makes me vomit. And a few weeks ago I had to sit down on the floor while doing dishes due to a severe wave of nausea and loss of balance. When I got up to go to my bedroom to lay down, I made it as far as the dining room and hit the floor. My head was propped up on the kitty treat bag and I stayed there for about 20 minutes waiting for whatever it was to pass. I did not lose consciousness at all and the only way I can describe it is that it felt like my head was swimming. (I know that doesn't describe it very well but that's all I got!) What I am hoping for is to find out how to make the nausea, headaches and other fancy stuff (like waking up with shooting pains going through my extremities) go away. It's not life threatening so far as I have read, but my fear is that I will be told it is totally normal and I will have to continue trying to find the reasons for the myriad craptastic things that have been bugging my shell. It would be excellent to have answers. I have an appointment in November and we'll see what the new doc says.... and if he is cute and married as well. (Ooh, I need to Google him.) I thought about waiting to blog about it until after the appointment or if I should blog about it at all, but screw it. I used the tv at work to create a kind of light box and got cool shots of it so why not? Creepy! And it is the season for creepy!
 Other Goodness
Hollo's PaperCraft is one of those places I have heard about forever but have never been to. Teachers and crafty types talk about it with oohs and aahs. So when my hairdresser spoke of it excitedly (she is going to make her own holiday cards), I decided to look it up and map it out. Oh em gee. The place is killer. I bought a mixed bag and all the boxing I will need for shipping holiday nom noms. (They will be much smaller this year btw.) And I scored cheaper rates than what I could have done online (a first). My favorite buy was 4 scribble pads made of posterboard, 17X22 with ~50 pages per pad. Dooood! They were $3.50 each. Big score for class projects. I also found some pre-cut card stock the size of business cards and tiny envelopes to match them. I thought it would be a neat side project (to do during times when I would normally doodle away boredom) to hand make business cards for the monkey puppet. Needless to say, most if not all of my cards for a while are going to be hand made and silly as I want them to be. So there. Adjacent Tangent
Tomorrow is for blog reading and nom nom making for my new neighbors, who, by the way, rock. The father, John, is on permanent disability and is home most of the day everyday. He has a great vibe and his wife seems sweet too. They have a bunch of elephants and blue lights in their yard. I love it! John has told me that he keeps an eye out and I never need to worry about people breaking into the house as long as he's around and I believe him. He also decided to donate the back half of his yard (which matches mine in length) to the NAC for growing things too. How cool is that?! I hope everyone is well and enjoying the cool weather. Will be around to read you all very soon! | | |
|
True
Premium
